Breaking Free: Embracing Autonomy In Your Mental Health Journey

Welcome to this edition of AllMindsFull! We are fully into summer now, the weather is hot (or absolutely sweltering if you’re with us in Las Vegas), and the days are long. July is all about celebrating freedom here in the US, so in this edition of our newsletter we explore autonomy and independence in terms of mental health, breaking free from toxic thoughts and relationships, and the art of boundary work. We’re also trying something new this month! All the tips and the journal reflection question can be downloaded!

It is so easy to get wrapped up in what others think, what they tell you to do, and ultimately what they tell you to believe about yourself. These repeated messages from others (especially the negative beliefs) often manifest, and become adopted, as your inner core beliefs regarding who you are as a person (side note here: if you haven’t seen Inside Out 2, you should because it has some great core belief representation!). Once we have established beliefs, both positive and negative ones, our brain is wired to compile evidence to prove that those beliefs are true, which is what we call confirmation bias. It is here that we deeply dive into breaking free from the, often debilitating, negative belief systems and the relationships that help form those in order to build autonomy and learn to set healthy boundaries.

Autonomy is about making your own choices and taking responsibility for your own actions. It is often the cornerstone for mental wellbeing because it’s empowering to take control of your own life, rather than allowing it to be controlled by the beliefs of others. It allows you to move forward on your goals, pursue what inspires you, and be in healthy, fulfilling relationships. As autonomy grows, it becomes easier to break free from toxic thought patterns and relationships and set clear boundaries with others to ensure you are supporting your own mental well-being and protecting your authentic self.

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Exploring your own limiting beliefs, and particularly taking note of where they come from, is the first step toward breaking free from thoughts and behaviors that are no longer serving you and the life you want. This will help you start to build autonomy and choice over your own life and provide the framework for boundary work. As autonomy and empowerment grows, boundaries, which tell people what is okay with you and what is not, naturally become clearer. When working with boundaries, there are three E’s to remember:

1. Boundaries are yours to Establish

2. Boundaries are yours to Enforce

3. Boundaries are yours to Endure the discomfort that comes with setting boundaries

Boundary work is challenging, especially for those who struggle with more people-pleasing tendencies, but they are necessary not only for healthy relationships, but also for inner care and improved mental wellbeing.

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Negative core beliefs, and the subsequent struggle with autonomy and boundaries, show up in every aspect of life. A negative core belief is something such as “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t deserve ____ (love, understanding support),” “I’m a failure/bad person,” and more. These beliefs shape your emotions, your behaviors, and your relationships with others in so many ways, dictating what you accept from others to the types of work you do. If these negative beliefs can be neutralized so they don’t have so much control over your life, you are able to live more authentically, doing the things you truly want instead of feeling stuck in what these distorted belief systems say you deserve.

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The good news: there are so many ways to work on all these aspects of mental health that may be limiting your life fulfillment. As you go through this month celebrating freedom, try these therapist-approved tips:

Tip #1: Identify Core Belief Systems

Make a list of your core beliefs (they typically begin with I am…), how they feel both emotionally and somatically (in your body), and keep track of how often those beliefs get triggered. You can do this by tally marking the number of times you say that belief! As you identify your belief systems, take some time reflecting on where each belief comes from, who it sounds like, and what memories “prove” that it is true.

Tip #2: Create Your Vision Narrative

Write down your vision for yourself in a present-tense form. If you no longer had these limiting beliefs, what would you be doing? Allow yourself to fully visualize this vision before writing it down.

Tip #3: Deep Dive Into Your Boundary Framework

Explore what comes up for you when you think about boundaries and how you feel setting boundaries with others. Learn more about the different types of boundaries, explore ways to enforce boundaries in a healthy way, and how you will endure the emotional discomfort that will come with boundary setting.

Here are our reflection question for the month: 

If you were able to break free from limiting beliefs and relationships, what would you do? Who could you become?